FuN StuFf & Jokes
Not safe for the office, youngsters or the overly-sensitive.

 

Haunted Hamilton's compiliation of the 100 most creepiest flicks of all time!

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Publicist: Hasselhoff Was Sick, Not Drunk

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Subject: life cycle is all backwards
>>I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should start out dead and get it out of the way.
Then, you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy;
Go collect your pension
Then when you start work,
you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School.
You go to primary school, you become a kid , you play,
you have no responsibilities, you become a baby,
and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury,
in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap,
larger quarters every day, and then,
you finish off as an 0rgasm.
> >>>
> >>>I rest my case.

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Ukraine Athletes (MPG)

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RealBBQ

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Album Covers Battle - rather cool

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Why Men Shouldn't take Messages?

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Questions and Answers:

1. How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. 

2.. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. 

3. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me . ." 

4. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. 

5. All wives are alike. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart. 

6. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her. 

7. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced. 

8. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Many say monogamy is the same. 

9. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It is called Wedding Cake. 

10. Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering. 

11. Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" 

12. In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. 

13. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two Mothers-in-law. 

14. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That happens in every country, son. 

15. A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

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